When is the last time you had 5 minutes to yourself? It was February 22, 2009 for me. I was induced that night and had a couple
hours to myself while Trav was working.
Three days later Madeline Marie entered the world and my life was
flipped upside down. In a good way of
course! The point is, I would kill to
have 5 minutes of “me” time. The other
day I snuck off to take a shower during a riveting episode of My Little
Pony. “I’m going up to take a
shower. Don’t burn the house down.” I screamed over the TV. “Uh huh.” Was the reply I received? But who can blame her? Twilight Sparkle was saving Ponyville from the
evil Discord and she had only seen the episode 8,000 times! She might have missed something the first
gazillion times. The instant the hot
water hit my back I made the fatal mistake of relaxing. “MOM!”
She is not real. She is just an
illusion, I thought….. “MOM!” The other
thing you have to remember is privacy goes out the window when you become a
mom. Suddenly 6 year old feet appeared
at the door and I looked up and met a very disgusted face. “Mom, you have to get out of the shower. The dog threw up in the living room.” Let’s face it, no one told us being a mother
would be this glamorous. (Sarcasm font needed) We are a club, a private group
for members only. Some of us gained
access on purpose and others were inaugurated on accident. Regardless of how you gained entry we are a
sisterhood. We are the mothers of
America. We are the only ones who truly
understand that the struggle is real…..
I once read an article about a working mother who wore a
pasta necklace her 2 year old had made her to a board meeting with the CEO and
CFO of her company. At the time I laughed. Who in the world would forget they are
wearing a pasta necklace? Last week I
wore two different colored shoes. Look
who is laughing now…. I was racing
around in the morning and the light bulb had burned out in the overhead light. I promised myself I would replace it that
night. I grabbed what I believed were two black pumps,
yelled at dogs to get in the house, ushered Madeline into the car, and took off
to drop her at school. It wasn’t until I was sitting in a meeting
discussing quality audits when I noticed one shoe was black and the other
blue. “….Making sure we are constantly
paying attention to the details and not letting the little things slip through
the cracks….” The presenter boomed as I
quietly encouraged the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
On a daily basis I fight the endless battle of waking up,
getting myself ready, getting The Mad ready, letting the dogs out, letting them
back in; sometimes chasing dogs around the yard until they decide to come back
inside. Packing Madeline’s lunch, finding
suitable breakfast items, making sure she has her library book, reading log,
gym shoes, snow pants, and the million other items a Kindergartener needs on a
daily basis. Then there is the “Mom I forgot to tell you,”
or “My teacher says I need,” and my
favorite, “Today is orange camouflage day and my only orange camo shirt is
dirty in the laundry. Why didn’t you
wash it?” And is it just me, or on the days
we are running extremely behind Madeline seems to move slower than a snail in peanut
butter. And of course there is the
battle to make it home on time. The
aftercare teachers are extreme clock watchers.
As soon as the clock strikes 6pm they start slapping you with late
fees. You walk in at 6:01pm and they give
you the look. “Ummmm Erin, if you aren’t
going to be here on time you really need to call us and let us know.” What I
want to say is, Yes thank you aftercare I know.
But here is what happened….. I was packing up to leave and an employee
stopped by with a “quick question” about their benefits plan. Once that 35 minute “quick question” ended my
General Manager walked in and wanted to know the status of the XYZ project. This
lead to an impromptu project meeting but we found out that Jane Doe was gone
for the day already. Apparently she had
to get her kids. Can you believe
that? She left to get her kids? When I finally ran out the door I realized I had
planned on getting gas on my way home! I
had just enough to make it into work and couldn’t stop because I was already
late for my 8:00am meeting about the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious report
that is only three quarters of the way done because Molly Sue missed worked
because her youngest son had a quadruple ear infection. What I
really say is, I know and I am sorry. I
will do better.
I will do better seems to be the theme of my life. When I finally lay my head down to sleep at
the end of an exhausting day I catalog the thousands of mistakes I made that
day and vow never to repeat them.
Unfortunately the next night as sleep escapes me a thousand more
mistakes are added to the list. Between
work, school, homework, after school activities, laundry, basic housekeeping,
dog puke, and making sure the pink shirt is clean for pink shirt Tuesday, life
can become overwhelming. And I would be lying if I didn’t admit there
are times when I lock myself in the laundry room, let’s face it no one goes in
there, and I have a good cry. I love
being a mom but there are days when I just want to watch an R rated movie and
say the F-word…. A LOT!
I promised Madeline we would build a chalkboard in our
kitchen. I naively assumed It would be a
super fun project that would get us away from the TV and we could work together
to create something for our home.
Pinterest swore it was easy and inexpensive. Lies…. ALL LIES! With my list of items in hand we walked into
Lowes and prepared to purchase our $30.00 worth of materials. I soon realized $30.00 meant 3 million
dollars and 4 days of work but the man at Lowes was kind, in the
beginning. After walking me through the
lumber isle and helping me select the wood I needed I asked him to cut it to
size for me. He informed me that it
would be better is I did it at home to eliminate mistakes. I informed him back politely that I did not
have a saw at home. He begrudgingly cut
the planks to the size I needed them to be.
He then led me to the next isle to pick out hardware. He handed me packet of screws and I then
educated him to the fact that I did not have an electric screw driver. In an exasperated tone he finally said, “listen
miss, I think you are in over your head.
Maybe you can get someone to help you or just buy a chalkboard?” Madeline looked up at the salesman and said
loudly, “My mom said we were going to build a chalkboard.” It was true.
I promised I would build a chalkboard and come hell or high water we
were going to build an f-ing chalkboard.
So I turned to him and ever so sweetly said, “I promised my daughter we
would build a chalkboard. I have a hammer and some nails and you are going to
tell me the best way to accomplish that with the tools I already have.” Monday evening at 7pm, we had a chalkboard.
So I encourage everyone who had an extra 5 minutes and could
actually read this post, I envy you by the way, to hug your mom’s today. Whether she worked outside of the home or
stayed home and worked full time raising you she scarified a lot. As mothers we constantly going without to
ensure our children have more. We
swallow our insecurities, our pride, and often our sanity, and trudge through because there is no other
option. We give up personal time,
privacy, and even some of our freedom to ensure our kids don’t ever have to
sacrifice those things. We love our
children fiercely, unconditionally, and without limits. We are
their shelter from the storm, the safe place for them to fall, and open arms
that will never turn them away. So hug
your mom today and thank her for doing the best she could when she desperately
wanted to do better.
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